We’re immature. We know and accept that.
But there’s a certain amount understanding that goes back to our college days, where if there’s a time when a professional athlete references their bowel movements you have to acknowledge it. And by acknowledge we mean laugh hysterically because the athlete just admitted they almost crapped themselves in the middle of a sporting event.
Enter UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman.
Chris evidently had to drop a deuce in the moments leading into his middleweight title defense against Vitor Belfort last Saturday at UFC 187, and things got pretty intense. He apparently thought about running to the potty to do his business as Vitor was making his walkout, but that would’ve ran the risk of delaying the co-main event.
And we’ve all been there, haven’t we? Think back to a moment when there was something really important you had to do, yet the tummy started rumbling and a turtle head started peaking its head out, looking to go for a swim. As for the middleweight champ, he held it in and the only mess he made in the Octagon was that of Vitor.
To the quotage, via “Poopy Pants Weidman” on The MMA Hour.
“I’ll be honest. It was my first time ever that I had to go to the bathroom bad. I could not believe this was going to happen. ‘I’m going to crap myself in the middle of this cage.’ I didn’t know, as soon as Vitor’s walkout music came on, I was concentrating, all I could think about was that I didn’t know if I should run into the bathroom now or hold it. I didn’t know what was going to happen. That’s really what was going through my mind the whole time walking out. I thought I would be the first person that had to run from a fight to go to the bathroom, or they’d have to hold the fight for me. But, I didn’t want to tell anybody because when you say it out loud it makes things worse. So, when we were getting ready to do the walkout, I gave Ray my flag, usually I hold it, but I gave it to him so I could focus on not crapping myself pretty much. So yeah, you were right, there was definitely something not normal.”
On the contrary, Chris, that’s very normal. In fact, it’s one of the most natural things you can do as a human being. Looks like those training-camp meals had a lot of fiber in them. Perhaps this contributed to the motivation to end the fight in the first round? Our childish side hopes to think so.
Follow the author on Twitter: @Nahmles