Maybe you haven’t noticed, but Ronda Rousey really hates Miesha Tate.
Aside from “How the f— do you make 135 pounds?” (which I will address at some point), the question I’m asked most frequently is “Does Ronda really hate Miesha that much?” And the answer to this question is: Yes. Ronda Rousey really, really, really, REALLY hates Miesha Tate.
To be honest, the precise origins of this hatred aren’t entirely clear to me. It has something to do with Miesha’s boyfriend, Brian Caraway, threatening to bash Ronda’s teeth out after the two women got into a scuffle at weigh-ins for their first fight. At least that’s how I think it started. Like I said, I’m not sure. What I do know, though, is that Ronda hates Miesha. And not just when the cameras are on, either. Ronda hates Miesha everywhere and all of the time.
For example: We’re chilling in the Team Rousey locker room before practice and Miesha walks past and calls out in a sing-song voice, “Good morning guys!” And without missing a beat, Ronda replies in the same tone, “Why don’t you go f— yourself?”
Then there’s this: The day after the “incident” at the Red Rock, I’m sitting in the sauna with Ronda, and Miesha passes by and waves to us through the glass door. Ronda jumps up and flings the door open to yell: “You won’t be waving with that arm after I f—ing rip it off, now will you?” Miesha looks over her shoulder and smirks, but keeps walking.
Some of you probably think Ronda is bat crap crazy. Okay, maybe Ronda is bat crap crazy. But I genuinely like her, and here’s why: she doesn’t bother trying to pretend like she isn’t completely insane. In fact, she doesn’t bother trying to pretend anything at all.
As we’ve already seen, if Ronda feels like kicking a hole in the door, she’s gonna kick a hole in the door. If she feels like crying, she’s gonna cry. If she feels like telling you you’re a miserable bitch faced —-, she’s gonna do that, too. On more than one occasion, I heard Ronda say, “I’d rather be real mean than fake nice.” And after being around her nearly every day for six weeks, I can say this is absolutely true. Ronda might be a crazy bitch, but she’s a real crazy bitch.
Julianna, though. Ohhhh Julianna. It seems that this week’s episode shows pretty clearly that Julianna annoyed everyone in the house except maybe Roxy, who is sweetness incarnate, and Holdsworth, who was hoping he might get laid.
At times, I actually started feeling bad for Julianna and thinking that we really were just being a bunch of middle school bullies, but then she’d do something wicked annoying and I’d remember why everyone thought she sucked. I recall being in my bedroom when Miesha came in with the coveted butterfat shake and that caused Julianna to hop around the kitchen squealing in that ultra-helium baby voice and being so freaking annoyed by the sound of it that I had to get up and shut the bedroom door before I snapped.
At the same time, though, I couldn’t help but grudgingly admire the way Julianna held it together while nearly everyone in the house, including the members of her own team, were dumping on her. I occasionally wondered whether she was too oblivious to notice that she was the most despised person in the house or if she was too strong willed to ￼care.
Watching the show, it’s apparent to me that it was the latter. Don’t get me wrong: I still think Julianna’s annoying and I have zero desire to cohabitate with her ever again, but I do respect her, albeit unwillingly.
It should also be noted that Shayna was exceedingly drunk by the time she accepted the piece of chocolate cake from Miesha. I’m not suggesting that the interaction would have gone much differently had Shayna been sober – she and Miesha have known each other for years, and it was quite sweet of Miesha to bring her the cake – but it’s still worth mentioning that Shayna had previously been guzzling Johnnie Walker and pontificating about life, love, and her loss to Julianna.
“You,” she said, swaying slightly and pointing at Raquel. “Have you ever hit rock bottom? I mean, do you know what the lowest point in the universe looks like? Because I do.” She paused to take a drink before yelling, “F—ing spladle! I had it right there, and I let it go! You guys! I let it go!”
For the rest of the time there, Shayna would periodically yell out “f—ing spladle!” After awhile, everyone else on the team started doing it, too. It became a shorthand way of saying, “Wow, I really did something dumb and screwed myself over.” I still say it occasionally when an appropriate situation presents itself, but until now, no one knew what the squeak I was referring to.
After Chris Holdsworth beat Chris Beal, I was hoping Miesha would choose me for the next fight, partly because I really wanted to fight, but mostly because I really wanted to hurry up and make weight so I could eat some food. At that point, I was trudging around the house like an animated corpse and dreaming of the day I could finally eat a whole meal.
I wasn’t surprised when Miesha chose Jessica, though. Jessica had injured her shoulder during her elimination fight, and even though she’d done a better job of concealing her injury that Chris Beal had, I’m pretty sure everyone in the house knew she was hurt. Looking at the match-up, it would be easy to underestimate either of these girls, but doing so would be a mistake. Roxy might come across as a Zen-loving geeky librarian and Jessica might seem like the nurturing motherly type, but both of them have switches and both are gamers. Looking at the two of them, I knew we were in for a good fight.